I have been married over 5 years, plus before marriage 3 years relationship but we have been living separately almost for 1year.My husband left home and he said that he loves but he is not in love with me. No exciment. After he left home he found a new girl friend who is 10years younger than him(she is 19,my husband is 29) I decided to divorce now but he doesnt want it. He tells me that he loves me like his mother and his sister. I told him this is normal because we have a long relationship. I feel also you are like my father and brother you are llike everything but lately he told me even he can’t think of a world without me and he wants to come back to home.
He doesnt want to sleep with me because he feels I am his mother or sister and after he sleeps with me he feels guilty. But when we were together we didn’t have any problem with our sex life. It was perfect. He has problems also for years spending so much money( he lost many things), fickleness and aggression.
What I want to know,is all this a crisis term for him or it means that his feelings are finished?
A: It seems like your husband is an extraordinarily self-centered man. He wants to keep you in a sexless marriage. He doesn’t seem to care about your feelings; he only talks about his own. In addition, you tell me that he has spent money irresponsibly and has been fickle and aggressive.
I don’t know enough about your culture to venture advice about what you should do next. I can only tell you that my guess is that this is not a temporary crisis, especially since he has been out of the marriage for a year. It seems that he doesn’t know that there is a difference between possessing you and loving you as a husband. From what you have told me, I suspect he isn’t interested in changing. I hope this helps.
I wish you well.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 23 Oct 2007
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2007). He loves her like a sister but wants to keep marriage.. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 18, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2007/10/23/he-loves-her-like-a-sister-but-wants-to-keep-marriage/