My stepdaughter has dreams of me.

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Recently my step daughter aproached me and told me that she loves me and wants to have sex with me. shes 25 and i have been married to her mom for 14 years. Im not really sure how to handle this any suggestions?

A: What you do is tell this young woman clearly and firmly that she is being highly inappropriate and that you are furious that she would complicate all of your lives like this! If you’re not furious, you should be. This isn’t flattering. It’s thoughtless and stupid. She has already altered her relationship with you by even sharing this idea. You now need to set a wider boundary between you so it is absolutely clear to her that you aren’t interested. Your wife should be told. A secret like this can be toxic to everyone. Although your wife is likely to be hurt, angry, and concerned, it is better than the uneasiness of sensing that something is wrong and not being able to pinpoint what it is. If she can manage it, it would be a good idea for her to sit down with her daughter to talk about what this is all about.
I wish you all well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 21 Oct 2007

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2007). My stepdaughter has dreams of me.. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 22, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2007/10/21/my-stepdaughter-has-dreams-of-me/