12 Steps aren’t working for me.

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

I would like to thank you for writing the “Husband is having affair with codeine” article yesterday and my wife for forwarding it to me. You see, I mimic the husband in that article with a few minor data differences and that rather than having been married for 2 1/2 years, we have been together for 27. I have tried and failed 12 step programs. I have great difficulties being honest with everyone, most importantly myself, with my disease. I want to take responsibility to manage my disease but don’t know how, when every fiber of my being screams to continue what I have been doing. Any suggestions?

A: How many times would you jiggle a locked door before you gave up and went out a window? 12 Step Programs have done lots of good for a lot of people. But these programs don’t work for all of the people all of the time. You are apparently one of the folks for whom the 12 steps either aren’t enough or aren’t the right ones. Quit fooling yourself (and giving your wife false hopes) by going back to the same kind of program. It’s time for a change. Get yourself to a substance abuse therapist who uses the Rational Recovery model. Good luck.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Photo

 

 

Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 29 Sep 2007

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2007). 12 Steps aren’t working for me.. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 28, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2007/09/29/12-steps-arent-working-for-me/

Want a more immediate answer from others like you?
Use your Psych Central account in our self-help support community.

Subscribe to Our Weekly Newsletter


Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code



Users Online: 12868
Join Us Now!