Q. My 3 year old daughter cries and screams about not wanting to go to her biological father’s house for visitation. This has gotten worse since she came home to me one weekend and said he had burnt her with a cigarette on her leg. I immediately got a restraining order against him to keep him away from the kids. We went to court to continue the restraining order and the judge gave him supervised visitation. The visitation is to be supervised by his mom who he lives with and was there when my daughter says she was burnt.

I feel like if my daughter is that scared of him she should not have to go. My ex-husband has been told that he has anger management issues and possibly bipolar manic and lethargic. My ex did not continue any treatment to help with his issues. I just want to know if mentally I should or should not send my daughter to her father’s house. My kids call my boyfriend daddy and he accepts them as his own children, on the other hand they call theire biological dad by his first name.

A. By all means you should not send your child to her father’s house but this may be a violation of the court order. Since he has court-ordered shared custody I do not know if you can keep your daughter from not going to his house. I am surprised to hear that a judge would still order these visits with her biological father knowing the information that you have relayed to me.

Without knowing all of the details of the situation, my advice is to discuss these issues with your lawyer or the judge immediately and tell him or her of your concerns. If you still are court-ordered to send your daughter to her father’s house, attempt to go with your daughter and supervise the visits. I recognize that you are in a difficult situation and I wish you all the best.

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 31 Aug 2007

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2007). Daughter does not want to go to father’s house for visitation. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 24, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2007/08/31/daughter-does-not-want-to-go-to-fathers-house-for-visitation/