Husband with odd mental health problem

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Q. About two years ago, my husband and I was going through a hard time. We had a huge argument. Just so you know he is controlling and selfish. During our argument he all of a sudden had a headache, then he went into a dazed like state. When I thought it was over he was threatening to kill me and wished I was dead. He tried to cut himself and wanted me to do it also. I fought with him and got the knife away from him, and I hid it.

After that his personality turned to nice and calm but was in a daze it seemed like. Finally he came out of it but this time it was like a seizure. Then he was back to himself again. Didn’t remember anything that happened. This has happened to him only like 5 – 10 times maybe. He tried raping me twice in that state of mind or whatever. But still no memory of it. And it only happens when we have a big argument. Can you help me understand this please??. Thanks.

A. I do not know what your husband is experiencing. It is bizarre and dangerous. He should be evaluated by a physician immediately if he truly “blacks out.” The fact that this occurs after an argument is very suspicious. After an argument, he has tried to stab and cut you and has tried raping you twice; this is extremely concerning. I am worried for you. I hope you are worried as well although I am not sure of this since you did not indicate this in your letter.

Suggest that he get evaluated but be sure to safeguard yourself from him. Call the police if this happens again since it appears he cannot control himself during these “blackouts.” Consider moving in with friends or family until this problem is resolved. Heed this message since you have almost been hurt very badly on more than one occasion. He is a dangerous man. Take care and take precautions to be keep yourself safe.

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 29 Jul 2007

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2007). Husband with odd mental health problem. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 28, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2007/07/29/husband-with-odd-mental-help-problem/