My mom has been getting weird text messages from a friend. I think something may be going on between them because of the messages he has been sending. This has been happening over a period of several weeks, and I have kept it inside until now. I was on the phone with my dad and I broke down crying. I told him what has been going on, and he didn’t really say much. I don’t know what to do. Please help me. I need advice on what to do next. I have no one to talk to but you and I need your help desperately.
Thank you.
A: I’m sorry you are so scared and upset but I have to ask you: Why have you been looking at your mom’s text messages? She has a right to her privacy! At 16, you are old enough to know better. If she wanted you to know what is happening in her private life, she would have told you. You may be right that there is something going on that shouldn’t be. Or — there may be a larger context for those messages that you don’t know about. If your dad and mom are having troubles, they are properly not involving you until they figure themselves out and decide what concerns you.
That being said — you did look. You told your dad. You told me. My advice is that you next come clean and tell your mom who is, after all, the person you have an issue with. Yes, she’ll be mad that you invaded her privacy. But at this point, you two really need to talk. Truth is almost always better than half-understood secrets. If you know the truth, you at least know what you are dealing with.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie
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