My brother loves to shop. He shops more than a woman. He has over like 100 sneakers and everyday, he has a new shirt to wear. Sometimes he would wear his clothes twice but not more than that. He doesn’t work and my parents give him a lot of money just to fulfill his desire for clothes and sneakers. Is it normal for a person, in this case a man, to be addicted to shopping? If it is not normal, what might be the cause he is a shopoholic? He has everything he has and earns good grades, so does it mean he needs more to feel good about himself? I want to know if this concern can be resolved.
A: I can’t tell from what you wrote whether your brother has a major problem or if he is just enjoying living large at your parents’ expense. I do wonder what your parents are thinking. I am more concerned about the possibility that he will grow up to be an entitled and useless adult than I am with the number of shirts he currently owns. Sure - it’s possible he has some kind of mental disorder. People who are manic often shop too much. Sometimes someone with obsessive compulsive disorder can’t stand to wear something more than once. But you say that your brother gets good grades. That’s hard to do if someone is in mental distress. From what you were able to tell me, my tentative diagnosis would be “spoiled”, not ill.
You said that your brother’s shopping is creating financial troubles but you didn’t say for who. If your parents are expressing worry, maybe they should think about getting a counselor to help them out of this fix. If they could do it by themselves, they would have done so already. I certainly hope they will think twice about how they are raising him. Unless they can provide him with an endless trust fund, he is going to end up a very unhappy guy. There is no way he can legitimately keep up such a lifestyle once he is on his own.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie
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