Q: My husband lies to me about where he is during the day. I have hired someone to follow him at random times to make sure. Sure enough, when he is telling me he is at meetings, car wash, jobsite, he is at a bar. In his job his ‘time is his own’. I realize that he has a drinking problem. I can’t remember the last day that he didn’t have a drink. He also has a heart condition & takes medication. The medication on top of the alcohol make him fall asleep very early in the evening. I know I have my proof to leave him, but this is a situation that has gone on – off & on for many years. Do I continue to turn my head & ignore it or at 45 do I finally put my foot down.
A: Sounds like you have serious problems and you need to decide what matters most to you. You did not say whether or not you have confronted your husband about his problem or tried to get him help. If you have done this and he refused, then I’d say it’s time to leave. If you have only been gathering evidence and have not confronted him or set down your “bottom lines” it is time to do an intervention and see what he is willing to do to change. If you haven’t attended an Al-Anon meeting I highly recommend that you do this soon. You can find information on the meetings online or by calling the local AA (Alcoholic Anonymous) chapter. I wish you and your husband luck.
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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 31 May 2007
Counts, H. (2007). Denial of drinking.. Psych Central. Retrieved on February 14, 2012, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2007/05/31/denial-of-drinking/
