My Mom is Having an Affair.

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

From a 13 year old: My mom is having an affair with my dad’s brother, who has three kids. I hear them kissing at night when my father is working nights. I don’t want to tell my father, and I don’t want to confront my mother. I am one of three..so its really hard to try and keep my two younger sisters from all of this…I feel sick every night now knowing what my mother is doing to dad. Please help me!!!

A: Your mom may have reasons you don’t know about for behaving as she is. But putting you in the middle is very unfair. I can only guess that she doesn’t know that you are old enough to figure out what is going on. (Adults often don’t give kids enough credit.)

I’m so sorry you find yourself carrying this burden alone. It’s much too big a secret for someone so young. You definitely need some help. Is there someone you trust who is close to your mom and who you could ask to talk with her? Could your mom’s mom or another relative be helpful? Does your mom have a good friend you could talk to? If not, how about a school counselor or church pastor? Another adult needs to let your mom know that you are feeling scared and too responsible for protecting your little sisters. Hopefully your mom will then make some changes. Please write to me again and let me know what you decide to do.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 27 May 2007

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2007). My Mom is Having an Affair.. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 25, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2007/05/27/my-mom-is-having-an-affair/