Q. I have been dating someone for almost 2 yrs now. He has been sober from alcohol / drugs for 10 yrs. Over the past year, he had been depressed and we have been fighting for almost every week for a year and a half. He was diagnosed by his psychiatrist that he has paranoid personality disorder. I am emotionally drained from this relationship. He does how ever have good days and then once a week or an event triggers his mood, he starts a fight and tells me how much i am to blame for the relationship. He now wants me to see his therapist with him but i feel like i have had enough. What advice can you give me. I want my happiness back.
A. You did not mention whether or not your boyfriend in under going therapy himself you only mentioned that he was diagnosed by his psychiatrist as having Paranoid Personality Disorder. You should encourage him into treatment whether it is medication treatment or talk therapy. It sounds as if he could benefit from both types of treatment.
Relationships should not be emotionally draining. They should be quite the opposite and in fact be emotionally fulfilling. The fact that you wrote that you have had enough indicates to me that you are done with this relationship. You have given the relationship two years and you are still arguing on a weekly basis. This relationship does not seem to be getting better and now he is asking you to get help. Obviously I cannot make a decision for you but if you are this unhappy then it is time to break it off. Go get your happiness back. Any relationship that drains and robs you of your happiness is not worth staying in. Having said that, I feel that you would have very little to lose by going at least once to hear the advice of his therapist. Relationships are complicated and just because your boyfriend has Paranoid personality disorder it does not mean that you are behaving perfectly in this or any other relationship. Perhaps you are but then again perhaps you aren’t. Obviously, someone with Paranoid PD would add severe problems to any relationship. How much work and time do you want to invest in this relationship? Only you can answer that question, good luck.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 22 May 2007
Randle, K. (2007). Should I stay in a relationship when my boyfriend has Paranoid PD?. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 19, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2007/05/22/should-i-stay-in-a-relationship-when-my-boyfriend-has-paranoid-pd/