Should I leave lying husband?

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

My husband stopped smoking 5 years ago. I found out that he has been lying to me the whole time. Now a year and a half later I find out that he still doing it behind my back. I can smell it. I asked if he is and he denies it.

Should I leave him? How do I trust him?

A: My goodness. You’d leave a marriage because your husband lied about quitting smoking? No wonder he doesn’t want to tell you! If this is the only thing he is lying about, the problem isn’t the smoking, it’s the relationship. Smoking is an addiction. Lots of people have a terrible time quitting. What has gone wrong in your relationship that he’s sneaking around like a misbehaving teenager instead of reaching to you for love and support for quitting? Are you so judgmental about this issue that there is not room for him to try and fail? Is he in such disagreement about the issue that he will jeopardize your marriage rather than give up nicotine? It’s way past time for an honest talk about the choices you are both making and what it says about your marriage.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 20 May 2007

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2007). Should I leave lying husband?. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 26, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2007/05/20/should-i-leave-lying-husband/