Q. I’m 14 and I am depressed but don’t know why. I am happy in my school life im pleased with my mates and my studies. But everytime i go home i feel like my life is useless. I get so bored in my house, my parents think i’ma child and tell me to do most things. They don’t give me much freedom and i don’t get much money to buy or got out. They tell me to study quite alot and always argue to me about why i’m not like my genius brother. I am getting so angry and moody that i kind of feel like running away or suiciding.
A: I’m sorry you feel that you can’t measure up to your brother in your parents’ eyes. I wonder if they know how much this hurts you. I think you know that running away or suiciding isn’t going to solve anything. You wrote to me for another answer so here goes: First stop giving all your power away. You are waiting for your parents to give you more freedom, give you more money, and to stop making comparisons. This puts all the control in their hands. What you absolutely can control is how you behave. They think you’re a child? Prove to them you are not by doing things without being asked. Need money? Get yourself a job and make some. Even at your age, you can run errands and do yard work for people, walk dogs, offer to clean a garage for pay. You don’t have to compete with your brother. You have your own talents. Figure out what interests you and do it with enthusiasm. Be self-ish in the positive sense of the word. Do what you need to do for you whether or not someone else notices. Once you start living your life instead of sitting around being bored, you will look much more responsible and mature to your parents. At that point, you might even be able to tell your folks how much they hurt your feelings. My guess is that they will take you seriously and try to make things better.
I wish you well.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 18 May 2007
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2007). I feel like running away or suiciding.. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 5, 2015, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2007/05/18/i-feel-like-running-away/