I’m afraid I’ll fall for someone else.

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

I love my boyfriend and he loves me very much, we have a great time together, we have great sex, we like the same things (traveling, eating outside, exercising) We are planning to get married on november. I love him, even though I know Im not in love with him (I dont feel butterflies in my stomach, I dont think about him all the time, I dont feel like smiling all the time, like when you are in love.) We’ve been together for about 2 years. I know that Im afraid of commitments, and also feel desire for other guys, want to sleep with almost everybody I like, but don’t do it. I know my boyfriend makes me happy. I know that being in love lasts for a short time, and what we have is stronger- but Im afraid will fall for someone else.
Thank you.

A: Ask yourself, please: If your boyfriend felt this way, would you think he was ready to get married? Probably not. It sounds like all the ingredients are there for a good marriage but you say you’re not in love and you think you might fall for someone else. I’d say you are giving yourself a powerful message that you have some important personal work to do before you tie the knot. Please see a counselor to talk about why you are so afraid of commitment that you are setting a good relationship up to become a failed marriage.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 11 May 2007

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2007). I’m afraid I’ll fall for someone else.. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 23, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2007/05/11/im-afraid-ill-fall-for-someone-else/