I have a male friend who I have fallen in love with. He tells me he has a woman, but the more he lets out, the more I think he is bisexual. He won’t have sex with me and every man I talk to tells me he’s gay. But I think he’s not because of how we are when we’re together and I can tell by the way he looks at me. He is attracted to me, but tells me he’s made a promise to his woman that he won’t have sex. He’s told me that he told her about me and how he feels close to me and that he is attracted to me and she’s fine with that because she knows him. I don’t care how much trust you have, no woman is going to be fine with their man getting close to and being attracted to and being friends with another woman. Now if your “woman” was really a man, that I can see. How can you tell if a man is bisexual?
A. Uh. Why don’t you ask him? Every sensitive male isn’t gay. Men and women can and do have friends of both genders. If you two are just friends, it’s time for you to meet his partner. If the sexual tension continues and he refuses to introduce you to each other, I’d be concerned that maybe he isn’t being honest with himself or with the two women in his life. Meanwhile, take a close look at what you are up to. You’ve let yourself fall in love with someone who has told you he isn’t available for romance. If you want to keep your friend, I’d take him at his word and look for an available guy.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie
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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 28 Apr 2007
