I have recently had issues with my partner which indicate to me that I do not properly understand myself and my reaction to her when the issues arose, which has been bad for our relationship. I find myself acting in a very immature and destructive way about things I should now be able to deal with in life, such as personal time and space.

I do not want to risk the relationship and would like to talk to someone professional but do not know how to go about finding good professional help, especially living in a developing country.

A: This relationship must mean a great deal to you to be willing to work on yourself. Recognizing that you need to figure out your part rather than blame your partner shows intelligence and maturity. You’ve already made an important first step.
I google-searched your country and found many well-qualified psychologists. But credentials alone aren’t enough information to make a good choice. I suggest you talk with your doctor or clergy and trusted friends to get recommendations. Then make initial appointments with a few of the psychologists. Invest the time to interview each one to find out about training and experience and how he or she works with people. Most important, find out who you feel most comfortable talking to. Education and experience being equal, it is your sense that you can connect with the therapist in a mutually respectful way that matters most. You and your therapist will be talking about very personal and meaningful things. It makes sense to make an informed choice.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 17 Apr 2007