Q: My husband and I have only been married for ten months, and things are not going well. I knew before we got married that he did not have good role models growing up and that he had some money issues. He told me that when it comes down to him not having enough money, he will do anything to get it. At first he would slip my credit or debit card out of my purse without telling me and when I would confront him, he would say that he needed gas or something and thought it would be ok. I just found out recently that he has applied for credit cards in my name and been using them also. This upsets me very much. How can he do such a hurtful thing to his own wife? This is illegal! When I confronted him, he says he wasn’t thinking clearly and he needed the card for emergencies. Now I am worried that we will keep getting credit cards in the mail that he has applied for and I will not find them. What should I do?

A: You have a serious problem that you need to take some serious measures to resolve. First, I suggest finding a good attorney to see if there are things you can do to protect yourself legally and financially. Second, I would give your husband an ultimatum that he must get psychological help for this issue or you will leave him. Third, I would suggest he meet with a financial planner so he can learn how to live within his means as well as understanding the consequences of going into debt and how to improve (or ruin) a credit score. I know you are early into this marriage but I would think twice about staying in it. Not only could he ruin you financially but he has lied to you on numerous occasions. How can you have a healthy long-term relationship with someone who is not only dishonest but will hurt you for his own gain? I wish you luck with this unfortunate situation.

Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 1 Apr 2007