Q: I have been involved with my long distance boyfriend for seven months. Our cities are 8 hours apart in a car, but airline internet specials have made it easier to be together one weekend per month in each other’s respective cities. During this time I have made 4 trips to his city and he has made 2 trips. Recently, my boyfriend has begun training for a new job in yet another city while I continue teaching middle school in my hometown. We have been unable to be with each other for 10 weeks. This was due to the fact that we could not budget the time and finances. However, while I have been staying home to save a few pennies for our next visit, he has been returning home on the weekends ‘partying it up’ with his friends in bars and nightclubs. Am I wrong for not being upset with the fact that he has the time and money to make these highly social trips? Or is it time to admit that we are not fit for a long distance commitment?
A: Long-distant relationships are hard and not everyone is cut out for them. I think it’s important to tell your boyfriend how you are feeling and see how he responds. On one hand, he has a right to go out with his friends and you didn’t mention whether his home town is closer to where he is than it would be to come to visit you. On the other hand, it does appear that you might be more invested in the relationship because you have already gone to see him more than he comes to see you. You also don’t mention if you have friends and family who you spend time with when you can’t be with him so that you have balance in your life as well. I guess I suggest that you spend some time thinking about what is important to you in a relationship and then have some heart to hearts with him before you decide what to do. You need to assess whether you are on the same page and want the same things. If not, it is time to move on before you waste anymore time. I hope things work out in the best way for you.
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