I have been divorced and been remarried to a loveley woman. now after 2 years she whants me to choose between her and my kids. What must I do ? I can not throw away my children but I love my wife. I do care for my children.
What must I do please
A: You don’t give me much to go on but it’s generally disasterous for someone to ask a person to choose like this. Your relationship with your children is longer and deeper than your relationship with your wife. Anyone who marries someone with children needs to understand that this is fact, not evidence that they are losing a competition. The relationships are different in kind. On the other hand, you need to ask yourself if you are so focussed on your children’s needs that you aren’t giving your wife enough time and attention. Before you do something as painful and unnecessary as making a “choice”, I suggest that you and your wife see a couples therapist to sort out just why your wife is making such a dangerous ultimatum and how, instead, you can all be part of the same family.
I wish you well.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 8 Mar 2007
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2007). My new wife wants me to walk away from my children.. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 29, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2007/03/08/my-new-wife-wants-me-to-walk-away-from-my-children/