My boyfriend won’t talk to me.

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

My boyfriend and i have been going out for 3 months but in the last 2 days he has been ignoring me. i asked him why he wasnt talking to me and he said because he has been thinking about something. i asked what and he said that it doesnt matter now. but he still hasnt talked to me. i dont know what to do. and the weekend before we had a lot of fun together and he seemed fine. he talks to all of his friends except for me.

A: I can’t tell from your letter who owns this problem. It could be that your boyfriend just needs some private time with his other friends and you are being insecure and crowding him. It could be that he isn’t as into you as you are into him but he either doesn’t want to hurt you or doesn’t know how to end the relationship gracefully. It could be that he has a problem that he doesn’t want to talk about or doesn’t want to talk about with you. Or it could be something else entirely and neither you nor I have enough information to even guess.
You two are in the stage of a relationship when people move past the initial intoxication of attraction to learning more about each other. Often this is the point when people decide either to pull back or go deeper. What is happening between you isn’t just about him not talking. It’s about whether the two of you are still meshing. My best suggestion to you is that you back off for a few days and only then ask your boyfriend if you can talk it out.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 25 Feb 2007

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2007). My boyfriend won’t talk to me.. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 28, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2007/02/25/my-boyfriend-wont-talk-to-me/