About a year ago, I caught my boyfriend on a variety of dating sites. We have been dating on and off for about 5 years. The conversations between him and these other women were very disturbing to me. They asked each other to visit, etc…
When I confronted him about this, he tried to lie out of it; but I had printed out these conversations. So now he tells me he was doing it just for fun (as a joke to these desperate women. He knows how I feel about this, yet he still visits these dating sites. I want him to stop this behavior so I can work on trusting him again. Do you think I’ll ever be able to trust again???
A: You have tried for over a year to work this out with your boyfriend yet he continues to visit these websites even though it troubles you. I know it’s hard to think about leaving a 5 year relationship. I’m sure he must have some fine qualities or you wouldn’t be with him. But without trust, a relationship can’t move forward. His behavior is telling you that he isn’t as committed to the relationship as you are. But quite aside from that, do you really want to be in a relationship with a man who thinks it’s a “joke” to lead women on? You deserve better than that.
I wish you well.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 25 Feb 2007
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2007). I’m having trouble trusting boyfriend.. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 10, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2007/02/25/im-having-trouble-trusting-boyfriend/