Q: Hello. Well I have been extremely close to a friend and after convincing myself we were going to date, I was the happiest I’ve been in my life. Well there was a problem she has a boyfriend but he has moved to Arkansas. We are in New York. She is supposed to go visit him next week for the entire week. She seems to have no interest in me at all anymore. I’m so depressed I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, when I try to talk to her I feel like she doesn’t care that I’m sad. But I’m so in love with her that I can’t turn away and face my fate. I’m sure she is going to go back to her boyfriend, and eventually move in with him and get married. She is 18, I’m 16. I really need any advice I could get. I’m so depressed and I don’t know what to do anymore.
A: I’m sorry you are hurting so badly. First love can be wonderful and extremely painful. It sounds like she may have never really broken up with her boyfriend despite the fact that he moved away. That was mistake number one. It’s never a good idea to fall for someone who is not really free and available. If she still has feelings for him you need to do whatever you can to get over her because even if she flirts with you and seems open to the idea of dating, she still isn’t really available if she loves him. It is hard to let go and move on when you have strong feelings but that is exactly what you need to do. Spend time with friends and family, do things that you enjoy, keep yourself busy, join a new club or start a new hobby… anything to keep your mind off her until enough time goes by that you are ok. When your heart gets broken it always feels like you will never get over this but you have to believe that you will. Time really does heal all things. There will be plenty of other girls for you when you are ready. If you just can’t seem to get over it maybe you can talk to your school counselor or ask your parents to help you find a therapist in your area. Hang in there and I hope you feel better soon.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 24 Feb 2007
Counts, H. (2007). I lost my girlfriend and have unbelievable depression.. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 11, 2013, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2007/02/24/i-lost-my-girlfriend-and-have-unbelievable-depression/