Q: my boyfriend i have been together for a year. things were very good in the beginning but in the past 4 months(since we moved out with each other) he has been having angry outbursts. they were usually once every few weeks and it would be over a small matter. he would yell and swear at me and one time he tried to push me out of his way. about a month ago he apologized for his outbursts and said he realizes that i do not deserve this. recently he lied about an old friend (who is a female) calling his house because he said he knew i would get angry. ( im a very jealous person). i confronted him in lying and he admitted it but the more i accused him of lying about other things, the more he got worked up and he had another angry outburst. he scares me when he yells that much and i hate it when he swears at me. what am i to do?
A: What you do is seriously consider whether this is the man for you. The early stages of a relationship set the foundation for how the relationship is likely to be. Do you really want to sign on for a lifetime of confrontations and outbursts? Neither one of you seems to know how to work out problems. You are very jealous. He is hot tempered. You end up fighting and yelling at each other instead of talking things through. You each could probably use some therapy to work out your own issues. Then you two might be able to make a healthy relationship. As it is, this is not at all promising.
I wish you well.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 19 Jan 2007
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2007). My boyfriend verbally abuses me. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 9, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2007/01/19/my-boyfriend-verbally-abuses-me/