my mum died and i think im going insain

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker


Q: im 17 and my mum was 40 and she fell down some stairs and died last summer and we were so close like you wouldnt beleive evry one said we were more like friends we looked so alike it was untrue we were on the same wave length and we talked about everything and now she is gone i think im going insain! people think im doing great they think im realy stong and coping well but im not! i just miss her so much adn it seems so wrong to carry onn with out her its like it wasnt ment to happen it rele was an accident and sometimes i just want to die wat do i do?….im a pretty grown up person i know wat is what and i hold down my own job and run my life my self but i dont no how long i can do it for

A: I’m so very sorry for the loss of your mum. You are not going insane. You are grieving. What you are feeling is perfectly normal. Your mother and best friend was suddenly taken from your life. You had no warning and no time to prepare. You are sad and mad and lonesome for her. You must be a very strong person, indeed, to have managed to hold it together this long without some help. The death of someone we love is always hard but the first time it happens is the hardest. It’s one of those things that you have to go through to really understand. It’s time for you to get a little help. If you have a community of faith, please reach out to it. If you don’t, think about whether there is an older friend who has come through some losses who could help you talk about your mother and your feelings. Perhaps a friend of your mum’s could help. Or maybe you have a grandmother or aunt who knows how you feel. If you still feel like you’re going crazy, please find a counselor who specializes in grief. And please – don’t be hard on yourself for needing some support. Most people do. With time and some sympathetic understanding, you will feel better and you will be able to focus more on how lucky you were to have had such a wonderful mother. Nothing can ever take that away from you.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 17 Jan 2007

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2007). my mum died and i think im going insain. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 23, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2007/01/17/my-mum-died-and-i-think-im-going-insain/

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