Boyfriend isn’t in the mood

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Q: Well my boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months. At the beginning it was 2 times a day. We moved in together very quick. We still had a very healthy sex life. Out of no where it seems he just isnt interested anymore. Everything else is great, but no sex. I am very very fustrated about this. Its been 3 weeks. His moods seem to be up and down. He also said that girlfriends in the past have told him about this up and down. He also has never had a girlfriend who wanted sex like me so his possible low sex drive was never noticed I guess. And he is very sensitive also about his weight. I think he may be depressed or bipolar but he doesnt want to “get help”. I am going crazy on how to get him back in the mood. I try EVERYTHING!!! HELP!!

A: There are lots of couples where one person’s sex drive is greater than the other’s. You’re certainly not alone in this. But as I see it the problem isn’t just your boyfriend’s low sex drive. The more important problem is that you are doing all the “trying” and he’s refusing to get help or deal. A relationship that is going to last is one where both people work on a problem and come up with a way to satisfy both people’s needs. I’m glad you’ve only invested 6 months in this. If your boyfriend doesn’t show more interest in working on the relationship and your sex life together, it may be time to move on.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 29 Dec 2006

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2006). Boyfriend isn’t in the mood. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 22, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2006/12/29/boyfriend-isnt-in-the-mood/