Q: MY HUSBAND LOVES ME A LOT. BUT HE DOES NOT EXPRESS IT IN THE WAY I WANT . I WANTED HIM TO TAKE ME TO A BOOK SHOP BUT HE WAS BUSY AND LEFT THE HOUSE , I GOT SO ANGRY I SLIT MY HAND NOT IN INTENTION OF KILLING MYSELF BUT JUST TO GET MY TEMPER DOWN. NOW MY HUSBAND IS VERY ANGRY THAT I WENT TO THIS EXTENT. I REALISE I WAS WRONG BUT I WAS NOT IN MY SENSES AS I WAS VERY ANGRY.I WANT TO KNOW HOW TO CONTROL MY ANGER. PLS HELP ME
A: Using such extreme drama to manage your anger is dangerous for you and angers your husband. If you keep cutting, you may hurt yourself more than you intend to. Equally serious, your husband may stop taking your seriously.
There are lots of ways to manage anger. Some people find it helpful to learn how to do deep breathing so they can calm themselves. Other people write out everything they think and feel. This lets them both express the feeling and rehearse how to present it to someone else. Some people go for a walk or a run or work out to stimulate endorphins. These are natural calming agents that occur in the body when we exercise. Still others meditate, pray, or just get quiet. Everyone is unique. The important thing is to find a reliable, useful way to settle down so that you can think and talk intelligently about the situation and take care of yourself. If you can’t do this by yourself, I strongly suggest that you find a counselor to teach you some of these techniques.
I wish you well.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 23 Dec 2006
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2006). I need to know how to control my anger.. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 31, 2015, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2006/12/23/i-need-to-know-how-to-control-my-anger/