Should I wait?

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Q: i am not married to the father of my daughter. it as been 2 years now that we had sex. my daughter & i don’t stay with him. we visit with him every now & then, but the abscence never made his heart grow fonder of me when we are together. i drop him a hint, but he changes the topic or sometimes makes that facial expression that makes me embarrassed that i shouldn’t have brought up the topic. i would like to know as i have placed in the quick summary of issue… should i still wait? what i mean here is, not being married to him, makes me more free to look for someone else who would be more worthy of my love & who will accept & love my daughter at the same time.

A: I think that after two years of trying to win him over with no success, you already have your answer. You have certainly given this man every opportunity to be a father to his daughter. It’s very sad that he doesn’t want to respond but you can’t make him love her or you. What you can do is exactly what you suggested — make yourself available again so that you can find a man who will give you both the love and family life you deserve.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 28 Nov 2006

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2006). Should I wait?. Psych Central. Retrieved on February 13, 2012, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2006/11/28/should-i-wait/

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