Ex-girlfriend won’t move on.

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Q: My roomate discarded a relationship last fall. She was “smothering” him and trying to move in with us uninvited. The relationship lasted only a few weeks, but she breaks down into tears upon sight of him, everytime. He has made it clear to her that they will not be a couple, yet she thinks there is still a chance. He has had to be outwardly rude to her to leave him alone. She no longer calls numerous times a day, but still will not accept the termination. He has been honest with her about everything and did not end their relationship for anyone else, of which she is aware of. To this day she will only sleep wearing a pair of his socks and does what she can to draw attention to herself at every turn. Does this behavior have a title?

A: There are a number of labels for this behavior but it doesn’t really matter what you call it. What matters is that she is quite “stuck”. It sounds like your roommate has done everything that is reasonable to get her to see the light. Clearly, a reasonable person would get the message and move on. But she doesn’t. It’s time for someone who cares about her to have a long talk with her about getting some help. I’m assuming that you are students since you wrote me from a college town. It would not be out of line for your roommate to call her parents to explain the situation and express concern about her. If that feels too drastic, he could visit your school mental health center and let them know what is going on. A counselor there could help him figure out what to do.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 14 Oct 2006

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2006). Ex-girlfriend won’t move on.. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 19, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2006/10/14/ex-girlfriend-wont-move-on/