Husband is attracted to slimmed down friend.

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Q. My husband has a female friend who he has known for about 20 years. Since he was a teenager. She has always been on the heavy side and recently had the Gastric Bypass. She has slimmed down and looks good. He insists that there is nothing there (like there was nothing before) and they’re only friends. But he has been acting soo strange. She(the friend) recently ran off and married someone she only dated for 2weeks. This upset my husband a lot. After several months passed, their marriage is ending. My husband was overjoyed over their breakup. Am i missing something?? Or does it sound like he wants her?
Thanks alot for the advice

A. It just may be that your husband cares a great deal for his old friend and understood that her rush into marriage was probably a mistake. If she did make a mistake, he would be appropriately happy to see that marriage end. On the other hand, your instincts are that something else is up. You might be right that he is feeling attracted to an attractive woman whose company he has always valued. Or, then again, you might be insecure now that his friend is more conventionally attractive and be over-reacting. I can’t tell you on the basis of a letter. I do know that there is nothing wrong with your husband feeling attracted to his friend. Attractive people are just that — attractive. What matters is who he gives his heart to and who he goes home to. The two of you need to talk about what kinds of reasonable reassurances you need so that you know in your heart that your husband is truly committed to you. If that question is settled, you will be able to relax and he’ll be able to carry on his friendship without threatening his marriage.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 20 Aug 2006

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2006). Husband is attracted to slimmed down friend.. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 20, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2006/08/20/husband-is-attracted-to-slimmed-down-friend/