Q: Hi,
> I have this weird friendship with a guy 4 years older than me. i like him. He is so cute, unique, caring and intelligent. He comes over often and we watch movies holding hands, hugging and almost kissing (never kissed yet) and we both know that we are not “just friends”. We have been flirting with
each other ever since we met in college about 8 months ago. The problem is neither of us have been in a relationship before. He doesn’t tell me he
likes me or ask me out. He is always holding back and not taking any risks. We keep in contact but we always have to have an “excuse” to meet. I don’t
want to be clingy but I want to know where I am in this. I want to know if he is my boyfriend or not. I know he likes me but he is not acting like an ordinary man would. I don’t know what to do and this is driving me crazy already. Could you give me some advice? Thank you very much.
A. You want to move this relationship forward but I guess you don’t want to be pushy or scare him away. Somehow he has made it to age 23 with no experience. He is either waiting for just the right woman or he is a little scared or maybe both. You said he isn’t taking any risks. How about you? Are you ready to risk it? If you try to move things along,it’s possible it will push him away. On the other hand, it may be that he needs you to help him out by making a first move. Only you know if you can stand it to lose him if telling him how you feel makes him run. And only you know if you can stand it if things stay stuck as they are for much longer. You’ll know when you reach the point that you just have to say something. I’m really sorry that there are no rules for this. We all just feel our way through it. It’s part of what makes romance so bitter-sweet at times. I do wish you luck.
Dr. Marie
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