Q. I had no insurance and still struggle daily due to that. II made poor choices years ago and am now struggling with the fact that I have 2 felonys on my record. I have had no problems with the law in over ten years but the past still haunts me with finding work and even a place to live. No one wants to hire or rent to a felon. Some places policies are very strict with no option. So there for why go to school to get a degree when there is no hope. I am stuck in a job that makes me miserable and has no future. If i get injured Im worhtless. No health ins etc. I struggle with a gambling problem and have had to be a support system for a family member who is struggling with the same issue. My family has encountered several deaths in the last few years. I just got out of a relationship that was abusive and am obsessing on that, even though I really dont want him. I want him to want me. I am scared and feel all alone. I have no friends. I am afraid of thoughts that go through my head and they are getting more prominent. I feel hopeless and scared of myself. What can I do?
A. I know you have been having a difficult time but you mustn’t give up. You have realized that you have made poor choices in the past and this realization is good. It means you may have learned from your mistakes. You are far ahead of the person who makes mistakes but never realizes their mistakes.
You have a chance now to make good choices. One good choice that you can make is to stay in school. You claim that there is not any good reason to get a degree since in your mind there is no hope. I cannot think of a time when getting a degree would not be a smart idea. There are several reasons for you to go to school and finish your degree that include getting a better job, receiving better pay and gaining much needed health insurance.
If you are struggling with a gambling problem, there is help available. You can attend gamblers anonymous or attend counseling sessions at the local community mental health center (CMHC). Often, CMHCs have ways to provide counseling sessions to people who do not have insurance. Those without health insurance are sometimes allocated more counseling sessions than those who have health insurance.
Counseling or group therapy can also support you while you grieve for your family losses as well as help you to stay out of the abusive relationship you just got out of. Why would you want to be wanted by someone who is willing to abuse you? You should not accept this scenario as a viable relationship. You are worth more than that. Don’t be willing to accept or be involved in a relationship where abuse occurs. It is extremely unhealthy and dangerous and would represent a bad choice on your part. Now that you are out of that relationship, it is imperative that you get help to keep out of that relationship. Now is the time that you could use the support of a therapist or support group to help you stay out of that relationship as well as help you with other aspects of your life including your gambling problem.
There is hope for you. You can still rebuild your life by making the correct life choices. For every incorrect life choice you make, you will pay, emotionally, spiritually or even financially. Incorrect life choices are damaging. Start making correct life choices today. Specifically, start with staying in school, do not consider entering back into your abusive relationship and do seek out therapy. I highly recommend that you seek therapy for support and guidance while rebuilding your life. Try the local CMHC since you do not have insurance. Also, please consider gambler anonymous for help with your gambling problems. I wish you the best of luck. Please, let me know how you are doing.
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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 19 May 2006
