Q. I was fired from my job as a nanny one month ago. I worked as a live-in nanny for 3.5 years. The children are 4.5 and 9 years old. I was fired because I was unable to take a step back and let the Mother have a bigger role in the children’s life. To give you some history, the Mother quit/was terminated from her job 8 weeks ago she had always worked very long hours (70 hours/wk) and her relationship with the children suffered from it. When she became a stay at home Mom I tried to take a step back and allow her time to bond with the chidren…but, although I think I made some progress I definitely was used to doing things with the children and I could have done a better job. When I was terminated I was not allowed to say goodbye to the children. The children were told that I went on vacation. The Mother has now requested that I write the children a letter. I am at a loss of what to say. I can’t say that I was terminated or in anyway indicate that it was the Mom’s choice because the kids will turn on her. But, at the same time I promised the 9 year old that unless something happened that was beyond my control I would tell her way in advance so that she had time to get used to the idea of me leaving. I know that it is crucial that I do a good job in bringing closure through this letter…but, I myself am not at a point of come to closure myself. I need help in how to word this. I adore these children and miss them so much. I will be allowed to see them in a few months but until then the only contact I will have is through this letter. Please help me.
A. I think you should be honest in the letter you write, if you choose to write one. The simple truth is that the mother has more time to do things for her children and that she doesn’t need you anymore to do the job that you had been paid to do. You were an employee. You are now terminated. Why should any of this be held back from the children? Be honest in your letter. You have been with them for a very long time and you love them and you know that they love you. You hope that you will get to see them in the future. If the mother lies to the children and they find out about it, she will certainly hear about her failures when the children become adults. You should continue your involvement with helping children. Continue your nanny work or do volunteer work. There are many, many children in this world who need your love. Remember that.
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