Q.Much has happed in past 8 years. Dad’s stroke, college (at age 47), child grown, then my husband became terminally ill (14 months) at home and passed away. I cared for him and was still very much myself during that time. We were married 25 yrs. happy, best friends, wonderful times together. Now, nearly 6 years later I still find myself tearful, lost, can’t concentrate, can’t make decisions, hard time leaving the house, no friends, etc. I long for the happy, balanced times but I just can’t get there. I hide it well from others, then am exhausted when I return home. I tend to not sleep, can’t stop moving, I have lost about 40 lbs. in the past year. I was on anti-depressants for about 3 years but thought I was well enough to get off. Huge problem getting off–I don’t want to go through that again. I also went through menopause shortly after my husband’s death (and managed to graduate from college). I never have fun or enjoy anything anymore. Not much fun. I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD but the bipolar II seems to fit much better. I’m trying to choose a new therapist at this point. Any ideas? Thanks for your time and help.
A. You seemed to be depressed and after what you have gone through, you should be depressed. Your whole life has changed. You need to rebuild your life. You need to develop a new life. You can’t simply wait for one to develop on its’ own. Look at how much has been taken from your life. The question becomes what have you replaced it with? From what you have written you have replaced very little of your loss. It takes a year to build a new house; it takes longer to build a new life. Yes, you should get support through his process; a new therapist. Lean on your therapist through this process. Menopause can play immense games with your emotions. My clients have done very well on hormone replacement therapy. That’s a decision between you and your endocrinologist. The endocrinologist is often better in these situations than a gynecologist. The choice is yours. I wish you the best of luck.
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