Q. I recently started going to a conseler about my unhealthy handling of stress. I’ve had alot on my plate lately, and at my birthday I drank alot. In my drunken state in front of my whole family and friends I freaked out for 3hrs. I was screaming, thrashing wildly and calling things out that I wouldnt normally say. I have never had a reaction like that before. I just think the stress of all the problems I’ve had culminated in that moment and I had to let it out. So I decided it would be a good idea to go see a conseler. Because even though I thought I’d taken steps to lessen my stress and pain it was obvious it hadnt worked. In the past I was raped and attacked my cousin behind closed doors repeatedly. No one ever knew and I didn’t feel like I could tell them. I thought and still do think it would destroy my family. So I thought I could help myself over time, but instead I went through hell and back. I bounced back and forth from one destructive behavoir to another. I was depressed stopped eating, started doing risky things like it didnt matter, cutting, eating alot,uncontollably tapping my fingers, over-working myself, burning, and having increased amounts of sex with various partners. My conseler has been great so far helping me to counteract the violent way I feel sometimes. But the latest way I’ve been dealing is scaring me and it was really hard to even tell the conseler. I got back in the habit of having sex alot, but this time I’ve been meeting various guys on the internet. The sexual preferences I’ve chosen havnt been very good either. Its like I’m out of control and can not satisfied. My conseler has asked me if I’ve been tested and if I ask those guys the right questions. I do. She says its how people releive themselves sometimes. We would usaully discuss alternative ways to deal with that. Now I don’t expect her a wave some magic wand and it will all be okay, but I guess I did expect a little more than that. I feel like I needed a litte more advice on that, and that just saying that can help was really that helpful to me. We have sense passed it. I mean should I approach the subject again and ask her again. I dont want the situation to get worse.
A. If you are not satisfied with her answer, you should talk to her about it again. Explain to her how you feel and that you are not sure you are satisfied or fully understood her answer. If sounds like from what you say, she has been helpful in the past. Perhaps there was a miscommunication. Good therapy may cover the same topics over and over again. I’ve even had clients apologize to me for us talking about the same subjects. There will be a moment when you will internalize the things you are being told by the counselor but that will only occur when those things “make sense” to you. Be patient. You should be gaining new insight in yourself after every session and should be feeling better steadily over time. Bring up your concerns in counseling and if you still are not satisfied, try other therapists, until you find one you feel the most comfortable with. I wish you the best of luck.
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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 24 Feb 2006
