Whats wrong with me?

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Q. Hi, ive had alot of trouble from the day i was born, my mum had a hard life before all of us were born (me, my brother,17, and my sister,20,)she was an alcoholic all my life and came ill all the time from it. Id see her have fits in front of me and she’d fall down the stairs when she was drunk, id have to go and live with my dad and his parents because she was in hospital, it was total hell! On the 4th febuary 2003, she was very ill and i was getting ready for school, she was shouting i need a doctor and my brother was talking to her. Well i left them to it and went to school thinking if she would be ok, i was worried about her. It was the lesson before dinner and a teacher asked me to come to his office because my dad wanted to talk to me, he told me my mum had passed away, i was only 12 at the time and it didnt really hit me at first,then i cried every night and i still do.For a long time i have feel so down and low and cry so much, my sister went to live at university for 2 years, but she changed her course so that means another 2 years, I miss her alot, then the july just gone, my bestest ever friend i could ever have moved away, i didnt get to say a proper goodbye or anything. I miss every1, i feel so unloved and unwanted, i hate going to school because i cant do my work and feel useless, helpless, like im in the way and i shouldnt really be here.Why am i here??? I dont want to live this life anymore, i just want to be loved, i used to cut myself to make myself feel better but it doesnt work so i stopped. Ive recently been thinking about taking an overdose but im too scared! Everyone treats me like im nothing, nobody likes me or wants to go out for a laugh with me. Why do i feel like this?? please help!!!

A. I am sorry about the loss of your mother. Losing a parent is one of the biggest losses a person will ever have to deal with. Losing a best friend is extremely painful as well. You should not have to deal with this alone.

You should be frightened of taking an overdose. It is extremely dangerous and life threatening and is NEVER the right way to deal with life problems. If you are considering this as an option, you should seek professional help right away. Go to the hospital, call for help. Tell your father, just please get help.

Cutting will not help you either. Cutting is extremely dangerous as well and has never solved anyone’s problems. Cutting is extremely unhealthy, makes things worse and mutilates your body. Get professional help. There are professionals who can help you through this rough time in your life. Talk to your father about getting help. If you are not comfortable talking to him, talk to a counselor at school or a teacher. They can help you get the help you need at this time. I am really encouraging you to go get help. Please don’t hesitate. Please write again if you have any more questions and let me know how you are doing.

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 17 Jan 2006

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2006). Whats wrong with me?. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 1, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2006/01/17/whats-wrong-with-me/