Tired of pretending I am ok

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Q. My life could of been worse and I do belive that I have made some good decisions in the last 10 years. But I am still haunted by my past; my childhood, the death of my first husband, all the bad choices I have made. I haven’t been ok, I don’t think I ever will. It does feel like the memories, the stress and the running are taking their toll on me. I am so tired, so tired of pretending I am ok. I do think I am crazy, though I am trying so hard to fight it. I am often numb, still feels as though i am in a fog – where did all those years go? It’s not impossible for some to heal, is it? Does it matter how long time has lapsed? I am tired, its time for help, but have I left it to late? I don’t want to run anymore.

A. I think you are putting your finger on the real reasons why most people seek out and enter into counseling. They know that life could be better, indeed, should be better and until it is they will forever be unfulfilled and will experience the depression that comes with wasting their unfulfilled potentials. Most people enter therapy willingly; there were no court mandates, no hospitalizations. They also will end their therapy when they choose. They know how they feel. It is either “good enough” for them or not. If it isn’t they begin therapy and when it is they end therapy. Most lay people do not realize this reality. The vast majority of persons in counseling or therapy are there because they have chosen to be there based on the feelings that you are having. You may want to read some books by Rollo May, the very famous existential therapist. You will see yourself depicted in his work. You must live your life to realize your potentials. Your path is yours alone and finding it and following it will be the only way for you or anyone else in this world to feel whole and complete. Find a good therapist. Try several; we are not all the same. Thank you, in advance, for taking the first step on your journey. My best wishes to you and please let me know how it turns out.

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 29 Dec 2005

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2006). Tired of pretending I am ok. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 20, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2005/12/29/tired-of-pretending-i-am-ok/