Q. I have a two year old and I’m married and if my house doesn’t stay a certain way, I lose it. They have to be perfect or if things are not exactly how I left them or if someone moves them out of there correct place, I have what we call my breakdowns. I curse, yell, throw things, cry and I even tell my husband I want a divorse. The thoughts that go through my mind are absoulty evil and I’d rather not say, but for the longest time I thought this was his fault. I thought if he’d just leave everything alone we wouldn’t have a problem. I feel like my low point was a few weeks ago when my husband sat down and had a talk with me about a fight we a had a few nights before. He said he was actually scared. He said I was so mad that he thought I might actually do something to physiclly hurt him. And what scares me is I actually thought about it. This fight was because he moved something out of it’s place. What should I do, I have absoulty no control over myself. If something is not in it’s place that it’s supposed to be I lose it. Iv’e always been this way, for is long is I can remember. In highschool my sister used to brush her teeth in the bath tub because I would freak out if I saw water spots on the mirror. I get upset if pillows are put on the floor, I get grosed out when I see spots on my carpet. If food falls on the furniture I seriously lose it, Since Iv’e recently started to relize maybe this isn’t normal I thought I’d look into it more. If you were my what would you do. Thank you for your help.
A. I would seek counseling to help you deal with this continually worsening problem. The things you are worried about are so minor in actuality and should not create the emotional reactions you are describing. You cannot expect your husband or anyone else for that matter to be able to live by the unrealistic standards that you place on your surroundings. This sounds like a type of obsessive compulsive disorder. The behaviors you describe are not normal. They are not pleasant and are not conducive to a good relationship between you and your husband. I am equally sure that they are unhealthy for your young child to experience. To help yourself and your marriage and your innocent child, it’s time for you to seek counseling. I am so happy that you have become aware of these behaviors as problematic. Good luck, you have taken the first step.
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