Relocation and family issues

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Q. A year ago I moved back to NJ to be near family after living in Atlanta for 10 years. I loved Atlanta, but missed my family. My older sister suggested that I move home, and my family had been after me for many years to, plus I was ready for a change…so I did. My problem is that I’m practically miserable here. I’ve barely made any friends, compared to a the very active social life I had in GA, my family doesn’t come see me like they said they would calling the 1/2 hour that I live from them “way out there”. In fact, during the 10 years I was in GA, they only came to see me twice…I always had to travel up here. The worst part is that my older sister has become very bossy and judgemental and condescending towards me. I was treated that way most of my upbringing, as if I was the big family pain in the ass. So, when my ex-husband suggested moving away…let’s just say it wasn’t a hard decision. It took me those 10 years in GA to realize that I was really a likeable and kind person! I was divorced two years after we moved to GA and stayed there on my own the remainder of the 8 years because I had my own home and a life that I built that I loved. I was hoping to build a life that I could love here, but not much is happening, and I feel very isolated. The closest I could afford to live near my family was 1/2 hour away because the northeast is so expensive. To boot, my family completely cannot handle that I’m homesick. If I even mention it, or want to go visit GA (I still have a house there) it turns into an arguement. Should I go home to the place I love or try and stay here near family and make it work?

A. “Home is where you hang your hat.” I am more concerned with the choices you have made. Why would someone leave a place that they loved and had been home for ten years? From what you write, it seems you had much to lose by moving home and little to gain. I would recommend returning to your “home” in GA and some good counseling to prevent and explore the reasons for your moving to NJ. Good luck.

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 24 Nov 2005

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2005). Relocation and family issues. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 22, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2005/11/24/relocation-and-family-issues/