Q. My wife and I have been seeing the same therapist for 10 years. He claims that if we were to see different therapists we would be on different psychological levels. He also claims that 90% of therapists today are unhealthy and would not help us like he can. What are your thoughts on this? Any information would be appreciated. Thank you!
A. Yes, to your first question. It is common and thought to be more efficient to do marriage counseling in separate sessions. It provides a level of comfort, in that their will be no “price to pay” for comments in the couple’s session during the drive home. I once saw a couple in separate sessions where both members had done joint sessions with a previous counselor for two years. They had gotten no where and thus the reason for their seeking a new therapist. With in the first three sessions, the wife admitted to me that she had been having an affair for the previous three years but never had the courage to admit this in front of her husband, in the couples’s session. Also, many couples act as if the counselor is a “judge” and each of them are opposing attorneys. This is not counseling and is counter productive to the goals of the session.
“He also claims that 90% of therapists today are unhealthy and would not help us like he can.”
Perhaps, you have taken this statement out of context. The bottom line is if you are making progress with this therapist. If not it is time to move on and may have been time nine years and nine months ago. I hope this was of help to you.
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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 24 Nov 2005
