Q. In 1986, i found a puppy that had his legs taped together and was in a box on a busy road. he became my “main” dog and we traveled and depended upon each other for a lot of different needs. he was with me through a horribly painful divorce and then the deaths of both my parents. i made a painful move and lived away from family and friends for 10 years. i am a photographer and i photographed him a lot and have been very successful, financially, with the selling of his photos. so, of course, i have tons of his pictures and negatives around. he died in 2001. he was my best friend for 15 years. i never made a major photography trip without him at my side. the four year anniversary of his death is 6 months away and i have noticed that i cry easily and get very depressed thinking about his being gone so long. i am single and live alone. i have other pets and enjoy them very much. most people, upon meeting tippy, always commented that he was more like a human than a dog. is it normal to miss an animal so much? i went through the grief support groups when he died and that helped. however, i had a life-threatening illness a month after his death and i wonder if i put my grief on hold and am still trying to deal with it. i’ve had alot of losses, since he died and i always notice that i think about his “calmness” and support whenever i do have a event that is very sad. of course I don’t want to forget him, but the sadness is so painful at times and i’d like to know if there is anything that i can do to lessen the depression that his being gone has caused.
A. Rejoice in your pain. The pain tells you that you are alive and that you have an enormous capacity to love. If I could hypnotize you and remove all memories of your dog from your mind, thus you completely forget him, would you do it? I have asked many clients that question after the loss of a love and they always say “No.” No, because they want to remember their love. The bible says “God is love.” How wonderful that you have had the pleasure, the gift from God, to have spent all of Tippy’s life with him. Every living thing dies and so will you. It is a matter of when not if. Fifteen years is a full lifetime for a dog. You were the miracle in Tippy’s life, a puppy sentenced to death in a box on a highway. Let us both rejoice in that miracle and accept the pain that is a part of every loss. A small price to pay for the pleasure of sharing love with Tippy. Don’t you agree?
What's Related
- Other posts by Kristina Randle, LCSW
- Honoring loss at holiday times
- Fear from chronic depression
- Depression
- Can you have a Homosexual Sexual Addiction and still be straight ?
- help me help my sister
