Why am I being stalked?

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Q. This year has been a difficult one for me, I lost my job at a company that was bought out and sold, so now I am living on unemployment and have returned to college. Before my job ended, I took classes to be a real estate agent; I have since quit and retired my license. The following will explain why I retired my license and went back to school. I have been stalked by a woman (I am also female) since December 2, 2004. She was my real estate teacher for my salesman license, cram course and finally at the end of 2004 my broker license. Her livelihood depends on her reputation, not only for teaching, but also for her real estate career (20 years). We live in a small rural area where she also teaches the yearly mandatory update classes for all agents, and also teaches occasionally at one of the local community colleges. I tell you all of this so that you can understand what she is risking by stalking me. She also sometimes gets other women to drive her around as she is stalking me; I call them the ?traveling alibis?. God only knows what she tells them to get them to drive her into my county. They only last a few weeks before they disappear and new ones appear. She does her night/weekend stalking of me alone. I have read everything that I can find on stalking and personality disorders and my unprofessional opinion based on knowing her, and what I have read, is that she has paranoid personality disorder. She has never contacted me or threatened me in anyway. I don?t feel that I am in any physical danger. I may crack-up though, I live on the east coast and last night I was looking for jobs on the west coast. I have been through every emotion over this situation, at my low point this Summer I was having panic attacks. We live in separate counties, 25 minutes apart. Every weekday I go to college in her county. All she would have to do is park in any of the store parking lots that I pass to watch me; instead, she drives the 25 minutes into my county to see me. She sits for what must be hours on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday for the chance to see me go about my shopping. It?s like she just has to see me physically, not just my vehicle go by. A few days ago she was in the store parking lot and leaned over so that I wouldn?t see her. Being hyper vigilant now, I saw her, she had twisted around and lay on her back so that she could see me as I drove by. My friends know that I am being stalked, but I have withheld the woman?s name to protect her and myself. I don?t know why this is happening. I don?t think that I am the first person that she has stalked, she?s single and owns at least four different vehicles that she drives in rotation, plus she borrows other people?s vehicles. Do you have any suggestions as to what I can do to either stop this, or cope with it? I realize you can?t diagnose her, but why is she doing this? I just feel like screaming ?make her stop!? Thank you for listening to me.

A. If you think you are being stalked you should report it to the police. There are laws against stalking. I cannot say why she is doing this to you but if she is, the police should be able to put an end to it. But, I can’t help but wonder if this person is really stalking you or if you are the paranoid one. Please do not take this the wrong way, I am not saying you are paranoid, I am merely saying it’s a possibility. She has never contacted you, threatened you and you do not feel you are in any physical danger all of which typically constitute a stalking. It would have been interesting to know if you have ever confronted her or asked her about why she is following you. Whatever the case, I would strongly encourage you to report it to the police for your own safety and peace of mind.

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 7 Oct 2005

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2005). Why am I being stalked?. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 18, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2005/10/07/116/