Q. An acquaintance of mine saw my husband having lunch one day last week. When I told him that she had seen him, he said he had not had lunch there that day or any other day in the last few months. I dismissed it at first thinking she mistook him for someone else. Then I came across a receipt in his wallet for the restaurant with the day in question, time , and amount ($50.00) which means more than one diner, and his signature. I asked him again, without mentioning the receipt, if he had lunch there and he again said no. Now I don’t know what to do. We’ve been married 17 years and nothing else unusual is going on. Schedules are exactly the same, no late nights or unusal phone calls, I know all the signs of cheating. That’s why this is so confusing. I’m not sure how to handle it. I don’t want him thinking I snoop thru his wallet because I usually don’t.
A. Your husband is being dishonest with you. You are now aware of his dishonesty. If you don’t make him aware of what you know and are thinking about, you will be guilty of dishonestly. There are many reasons why he could be there. All of those reasons come under the umbrella of “he didn’t want you to know”. We don’t know what he was doing there but the one thing we know for sure is that he has lied about it. He is being dishonest and he did not want you to know. What this is proven is that there is at least one thing that your husband is keeping from you. There may be many more. You are far safer knowing the truth than living with your head in the sand. Yes, it could be problematic and could create hardships at home if you mention the truth to your husband. However, it could be much more troublesome and much more dangerous to you if you do not confront him with the truth. I would absolutely recommend that you both see a marriage counselor to deal with this issue so it is not swept under the table with the promise that it will never happen again. Good luck.
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