Q. I can’t get threesomes out of my head. My wife (ex) have been together 8 years. In that time she has left me nine times.I am her 4th husband 5th marrage. she married one guy twice. She keeeps leaving because i fantise about her being with other men and she can’t stand it. but she always leaves for other men. I want to get this crap out of my head but when I think of her with these guys my mouth always opens and I want details. I love this women more than anything in the world. I know am not even close to being bi-but just the thought of her with some one else turns me on. I had my first three way with my first wife and it was addicting to me. she left for the same reason. I don’t really want to happen, I just open my mouth and talk about it, then regret it when the act is over. I’ve wanted help for this for years and don’t know where to turn. My wife (ex) just moved in with another guy and even though shes done this nine times I feel like I still love her with all my heart.(or whats left of it)is there a reason for this. Am I some kind sex freak or what? Is there help for this?, Lasting help..Please E-mail me back….
A. Many men and women both fantasize about threesomes and experience it. It’s not at all uncommon in our society. I think the real problem here is the fact that the woman you are with has been married five times. This certainly shows a relationship problem. You say that she keeps leaving because you kept fantasizing about her being with other men, and that is simply an assumption on your part. That may be the excuse or reason she gives you but that does not mean that is why she’s leaving. There is an incompatibility here. At the most basic level, she wants not to have threesomes and you want to have threesomes. I can’t be sure from what you have written but I would assume that there are other incompatibilities. You can’t force your interest on her and she can’t force hers on you thus you must both agree and that becomes an issue of compatibility. There are reasons why you might find this sexually exciting. You mentioned you not bisexual. There are as many theories as to why you would want to do this as there are major schools of psychology. Certainly you could see a therapist to get his or her input but when it’s all said and done, you will still be with the same woman who has been married five times. My conclusion would be you do not have much long term security with a woman who has been married five times.
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