My fiancee is dangerous-what do I do?

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Q. I think my fiancee has a borderline personality disorder. I have been with my partner for a year. She is 23, very attractive and of Afro-Carribean parentage. I am 43, white and pretty much an average guy (I think). We were introduced by a mutual friend and the 4 of us shared a night out together. Since then she wil not spend even a couple of hours away from me. She gets into verbal conflict very easily with everyone, including me, and once she gets there she is incredibly aggressive. In the past 2 weeks she has threatened me twice with a knife and once with a hair spike. I have ried to leave the relationship but she starts damaging everything I own if I continue to pack – also throwing some belongings onto the street. Frankly I am feeling like she has a lot of issues that I am discovering now and I am afraid of her. I do not know how to broach the subject of her mental health. Can you help me PLEASE.

A. The best advice I can give you can be expressed in one word, “Police.” Her mental health issues are “Her” mental health issues. You need to protect yourself. This could be a dangerous situation and I would consult your local police for the best way to extricate yourself from this situation.

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 25 Apr 2005

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2005). My fiancee is dangerous-what do I do?. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 1, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2005/04/25/my-fiancee-is-dangerous-what-do-i/