Q. My little girl is 3 and a half and since the birth of my son 2 years ago, I have noticed a drastic change in her behavior. >From being a very sociable, loving little girl, she is now strong willed and independent to the point of self destruction. She will not listen to anyone and is hell bent on doing what she wants to do, regardless of the consequences. The Teacher at pre-school has today brought my attention to the fact that they are having problems with my child’s behavior. The only way I can describe it is a bit like a light switch. One minute she is the loveliest child on the planet and then for no reason whatsoever, she switches and becomes aggressive and defiant.

I am really struggling to cope with her behavior and am actually frightened of going out anywhere on my own with her, because I simply cannot deal with her if she starts behaving this way. I know it cannot be because of my other child, because if anything, it was him who had his nose pushed out. I was so focused on making such my little girl didn’t feel threatened by his arrival.

I have seen Health Visitors and Pediatricians about these problems and the
Pediatrician even witnessed the tantrum first hand, but nobody has offered to help. It seems like once they are not babies anymore, nobody wants to know. I have also tried various medications, like Eye Q and Omega 3 oils, as well as changes to the way we discipline her and changes to her diet but nothing has worked. I have a follow up appointment on Monday with the Pediatrician again. What do you think??

A. This is most likely to be a parenting issue. Effective parenting is very difficult. It is up to you to establish the behaviors that are acceptable in your home. I would highly recommend Gerald R. Patterson’s books about living with children. Every parent should become an expert on parenting and most importantly behaviorism. Good luck.

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 20 Mar 2005